On a Roll

Over the last couple of months I struggled with my eating habits and I bounced around with the same 3-4 pounds. Then one day I was at home and I'd been eating a cookie when I thought,"Wow why am I even eating this? I don't even want it." Then I thought well, I've already eaten half,  I might as well finish. And then I realized,"Duh there is no reason I have to eat the other half of the calories." Then I tossed it out.

Since then I have stuck to my program, and worked hard. I'm on my 3rd mini goal, which is lose 15 lbs in 6 weeks. I have 3.5 weeks left. I'm not quite on track but I'm still down 5.2 pounds so far in the last 2.5 weeks. I hope to catch up. At the end of my goal my target weight is 184.4lbs.

For anyone that has weight they want to lose, I promise it is worth it! I am down a total of 22.2 lbs and I feel so great! Yes there have been trying moments, and times that it was difficult to stick to my allowed foods instead of eat what everyone else was. But on Friday when I've lost even more weight it will be completely worth every bite I didn't take!

Stats
Mini Goal-9.8 lbs to go
Mini goal Loss- 5.2
Total Loss 22.2!
Total to Lose: 48.6!

Back on Track

So last week with all the eating out really threw me off. I started picking at food here and there that really wasn't in my program. And the funny part is I really didn't enjoy it, I just felt bad. Yesterday I made a trip to Kroger to get all the snacks that I can have and enjoy, fruits and veggies mostly. It was so much easier to have dinner and feel good about what I ate, regular shopping is essential! Monday and Tuesday I did the picking thing, and I ate some things I shouldn't have because I wasn't feeling well. My Weigh in on Wednesday was up 1.4 lbs to 206lbs. I suspect it was related to salt intake.
I'm looking forward to tomorrows Weigh In, because I know that I have eaten right, and made healthy choices for my body, and my goals. It feels good!

Also yesterday was a day for being given awesome things. My friend Angela brought me a ton of clothes, which were really cute. And 6 pairs of jeans! I don't think I've ever owned that many pairs of jeans before. Now I have 12 pairs of pants in various sizes. Right now only 2 pairs fit comfortably, but I am really looking forward to getting into all the other pairs I have. And I've made a vow to myself. I will never again squeeze into a pair of jeans, if they do not do up easily and comfortably they are not going on this body! No way! There's just no reason to wear something that is comfortable and painful.

I'm also excited about discovering Hungry girl Egg Mug recipes, they are going to be so yummy!

10+

Whoo Hooo! Yippee! 11.2 pounds down!

This last week was rough, my hubby and I were helping a friend until 9pm tues-thurs. And out of the goodness of their hearts they took us out for dinner. Unfortunately, I learned just how hard it is to be on my program and eat out! I found that even though the food was delicious, I didn't like not knowing what was in my food, or how it was prepared. That was a serious challenge for me, but I did my best to eat healthy and avoid the buffet of desserts.

I feel like I had a lot of successes. On Tuesday we went to Rosie's a mexican place, where the put baskets of tortilla chips and salsa on the table before your meal arrives. I can't eat chips on my program, I did not have a single bite. And when I ordered my fajita salad I requested the remove the tortilla crisps altogether, and bring me the toppings on the side. The only things I should have done and didn't was ask for no sour cream, and no olives. I do not like olives! In the end it was delicious!

Wednesday we went to Ryan's buffet, it was okay. I found myself starving, and just walking around trying to figure out what I could have. I didn't want another salad. I avoided the fried chicken, dishes laden with cheese, and everything drenched in grease. However I probably ate a little too much anyway.

Thursday we went to McCalister's, OH WOW so good! I had a bowl of chilli, and half a Grilled Buffalo Chicken salad! Delicious! That I think was just fine, I even asked for lite ranch instead of bleu cheese dressing. However I tried some of my hubby's roast beef and gravy(it was on a sandwich but I did not eat the bread). I had 3 bites and realized it was crazy salty for me. I did not ask for a bite of the Cheesecake my hubby was finishing! That was hard!

Friday was a difficult day, I found out my Dad broke his arm and might need surgery. I had many worries involved with that, and I don't think I was ever as home sick as I was this weekend. I definitely ate too much starch in the form of fat free ice cream.

Saturday my Mother-in-law took us to 88 buffet, I did my very best to avoid anything with breading, or that was deep fried. I had a lot of veggies and a lot of fruit. Once again I avoided the desserts! Although once again I had too much starch in the form of the rest of the fat free ice cream. UGH I was not happy with myself.

Sunday I was good. I ate all at home. For breakfast I had apple sauce, then I had my recipe of grilled chicken, black beans, veggies, and brown rice, topped with a little roasted red pepper vinigarette dressing. I had 1 cup of no sugar added cranberry/raspberry juice for the rest of my fruits. The for dinner we had chicken wings (baked) and I had more mix veggies and brown rice. I also drank a ton of water.

I had a nasty migraine last night, the first real headache I have had since starting on this program. It really knocked me down, the pain was so bad I couldn't even lay my head on my pillow. In fact I am still dealing with it, by keeping up my tylenol every 4 hours, otherwise it comes back.

But inspite of my disaster week my weigh in's went like this.

Monday down 0.8 for 206.4lb
Wednesday down 0.2  for 206.2 lb
Friday Up 0.8 for 207lb

This Monday down 2.4 for 204.6 lbs!
Stats
Lost last week: 1.6 lbs
Total lost: 11.2 lbs
To go: 59.6lbs!

Monday's Victory!

Oh yeah! I feel fantastic! I was a little nervous as I stepped onto my scale this morning. Remembering how wonky my weekend was, not having my usual yummy and healthy foods. (the continuous rain on Saturday kept me from restocking) But much to my surprise when the blinking was over the scale read 206.4! Then it went into it's next phase and told me I was down 0.8 from the last time I weighed, which was Friday. This means that from last Monday I lost a FULL 2 POUNDS! I haven't done that since my detox over three weeks ago. That tells me I am doing something right, and things can only get better from here as I continue with my efforts to find the foods my body likes the best.

I don't ever remember a time when I felt this good about myself. I am actually succeeding, and it is not the "nearly impossible day after endless day struggle" that it has always been in the past. Now my best effort actually makes a difference. It's so liberating, I no longer feel like I'm drifting along with the rest of society that is struggling to find the answer to weight loss. Notice I said answer, not quick fix, or secret. It's not a secret! It's just a matter of the proper balance of nutrition so that the body can work and burn efficiently. Eating clean has got to be the best thing for my health that I have ever come across. Here are a few benefits I am seeing already, after just 4 weeks.
1. I sleep better
2. I have less pain
3. I have more energy
4. I have less cravings
5. I have no more headaches
6. Confidence
7. I am losing weight without starving
8. Better able to cope with stress and emotions

Stats
Loss this week: 2 lbs!
Total Loss: 9.4 lbs!
To Goal: 61.4 lbs!

Next week find out how I did with my Goal to walk 1.6 miles every morning with Jabber Jane.

Wednesday's Weigh in!

I'm not going to say that this program is easy. I'm not going to say that I never want something I shouldn't have. And I'm not going to say that I am doing it perfectly (I need to exercise more). But I can say that it is working, it is worth it, and I am happy to be doing it.

As of Wednesday I am 207.6 pounds. I lost 1.4 pounds last week (Monday WI), and another 0.4 lbs from Monday to Wednesday! I feel great, my total loss is 8.2lbs, and I am at the point that I look forward to my weigh in's. I can't wait to see my hard work paying off. Knowing that saying no to that extra piece of cheese, that ice cream or cookies, it was worth it! Seeing the scale go down is so worth denying myself all the things that I know would hinder my progress. Oh and being able to do my belt up tighter and tighter, this week I went from the second loop in my low ridder pants to the third loop. And from the 4th loop in my higher rise jeans to the 5th loop. I am wearing shirts that I haven't worn in a long time, because I feel so much more confident now. I looked in the mirror and thought, "hey, I have a waist!" I can't wait to remember what I look like at 190, 180, 170....and so on. I am thinking that as my clothing becomes too big I will probably do a clothing box listing on Craigslist, so I can get more clothes!

And the diets not all that bad, I do get to have quite a number of foods that I really do enjoy. I am finding that I need to have a cooking day on the weekend so that I have my perfectly balanced meals that can just be heated up. It will making cooking seperately for myself and my hubby much easier.

I've been watching Man V. Food. That might seem like a weird thing to watch when my eating plan is so cut and dry. I simply cannot eat at any of the places he does, if I want to continue to have success. But I enjoy it, I see all that over eating, all the unhealthy foods, and it reminds me of why I am working so hard. I do not want to be a person who would even consider eating the 1.5lb sandwich and 2 gallon milkshake. That is not me! Would I like a small milkshake, and a healthy sized sandwich on whole grain bread, absolutely. And that will be acceptable. It really puts in perspective the disparity in our society from what our bodies need to be healthy, and what habits we foster for pleasure.

I also want to say this. There is nothing I CANNOT eat. I can put anything I want in my mouth, and the day that I find something I want to eat so badly that it is worth foregoing the weight I would lose (or gaining), I'll eat it. Thus far I have not found anything I want to eat that badly. I honestly cannot think of anything that would actually be worth it.

Stats
lost: 1.8 lbs
Total lost: 8.2 lbs
To goal: 62.6

Reality check, goals, and progress!

Tonight I have a lot on my mind. I feel pumped, I've made progress right away. I have a new morning routine thats healthy and all about me, taking care of my body, and remembering that I am important too. I've felt great that in 3 weeks I am now getting up a full hour earlier than I was before, I am now exercising 20 min in the morning, I drink 64oz of water or more a day, and I'm enjoying healthy food.

However the other day I had a reality check, a real wake up call. I'm glad I had it nearly three weeks after I started new goals and recentered my attitude. It was rude, I got really angry, and somewhere hidden inside I was a little hurt too. A new neighbor eyed me as I was leaving our little chat at the mail boxes and she said "you havin' a baby er somethin'?" It took me a moment to recover from the shock, I said a very quiet no, and continued on my way. As time went on and I was preparing for dinner that evening I got more and more angry. I called my sister to vent, she agreed with my outrage, she's a great sister. I posted on facebook, on my status, and in my weightloss group. I got a lot of support and encouraging messages. That was all great, the support was amazing, and knowing there are so many women out there that know what it is like to be at the end of such rudeness and thoughtlessness.

Here is what I have learned. Reality check, my waist is 41", my hips 50". I'm carrying a whole lot of my weight in my middle, I always have. I lived my life in such a way that my body was neglected. I didn't give my body the tools it needed to function at an optimum level. Not enough exercise, not enough water, not enough high quality nutrition, too much junk food and empty calories, too much sitting around, or laying in bed. Too many excuses for not getting up and working out, something as simple as going for a walk. I always have an excuse, I'm too tired, I hurt too much, I don't have the time, there is too much cleaning to do, I don't feel like it. Gotta love that last one, I got lazy in coming up with excuses for being lazy. So my reality, it's my fault I look like I could be pregnant. It's my fault that I have a goal that involves losingsome 70 lbs. It's that woman's fault for being rude, but it's not her fault that my body looks such that someone could make the mistake.

So who should I really be mad at? Me? No. I say no because, while it is my fault, and my problem, that is not productive. It would likely only add to the difficulty of what I am working for. I have plans, and I so badly want this, I'm determined, and I'm committed. That to me says: "Things have changed". Something in my thinking changed, something in my attitude changed. I stopped just feeling sorry for myself, and actually sat down to devise the path I need to take to make my goals a reality. I've known what I needed to do for quite some time now. But I didn't WANT to. Why? I didn't want to give up my sleep. I know that sounds silly, but I'm a person who does not sleep well, in fact I never really have. I've gone to multiple doctors about my sleeping problems. I AM tired ALL the time to varying degrees. So that hour of sleep I have given up already is pretty precious. And the extra hour I am going to be giving up over the next 4 weeks is equally as precious. I know it will be hard, I know I will struggle. But I have realized that as I lose the weight the hours that I do sleep for will be worth more to me in the long run. Eventually the "tired all the time" will wear off. I will begin to have energy again. Maybe it will take 10 pounds, maybe it will take 20 pounds, maybe more. But when I get to that point where I can sleep for more than 2 hours at a time, it will be glorious!

Achieving my goals is a big motivator for me. Seeing my progress is also another big motivator, loss of inches and pounds. Slowly getting closer to a healthy BMI, and a slimmer me, priceless. But I know I will have bad days, rough weeks, and many challenges along the way. One of my big goals is to complete each of my 2 month goals through the whole year. To not miss any exercise days (unless very ill), to not miss a single day without my 64 oz of water. 1 year of that, I will be a new me! To get me through the rough times I have a rewards system. I get rewards at certain points in multiple categories. Inches lost, certain weights, certain BMI, percents of my goal completed (10, 25, 50, 75), and I'm thinking at the end of each of my 2 month goal sheets. So far I have completed everything on my current goal sheet. And in some things exceeded my own expectations! I have 1 rule, none of my rewards can be food. I think they will mostly be clothing. Maybe jewelry, or something else I want. I think the reward point I will reach soonest is my first inches lost goal which is 10-13 inches lost! I am at 7 inches lost. I can't wait until the next week I measure.

I plan to post each Friday to report on my completed goals for that week. This morning getting up at 7:30 was hard, really hard. I almost didn't do it, nearly fell back asleep in the bathroom. But I made it to the living room and my YourShape on the xbox kinect. It is definitely a challenging workout so far. I'm using the personal trainer, and I'm seeing improvements even over the last 4 days. I have better coordination to follow the trainer, and I went from 30 cals burned on my second day (first day didn't get through my profile and tutorials) to 52 cals burned today. I can't wait until I have a full 45 mins to exercise.

Oh, and a side note. The size 18P jeans I bought a few weeks ago are falling off me. I walked up the hill in front of our apartment several times this morning. I had to hang on to them. Too much movement and they just start sliding down. That is exciting to me! I need to get a belt of some kind because my size 16P will not yet fit me. I just might crochet myself a belt.

Well that is where my head is at tonight. Like I said a lot to think about, and a lot to be excited about too!